A male perspective on pregnancy and the techniques successfully next

17 Weeks we lost our little angel

My wife and I went to school in the elementary school together and started high school not long. We are we never a few, but both of our best friends were together at the time, so most were surprised, that we never "connected". I would see if we were just kids and time slows down and sounds, except for the sound of one's heart would fade. I was to say a disgruntled child, at least so I this stupid feelings pushed aside because I always on the lookout themselves for what I had to do next and finally removed on the horizon and never heard from her again... so I thought.

I came the military in 1997 in the hope of world travel and do things that, my friends, only growing up to do dreamed, and I have just that. It was my second tour to Afghanistan and at that time, which I traded in my infantry days dangerous and was a technician in the military, the support of people who I once was. I felt that if I achieved something, it was time to move on and try something new. After a 12 I let hr layer in the camp at night and decided to check on my Facebook - in account was to a friend request see with my old friends when I realized I had. I opened the request, and she gave. Time seemed to stop the noise of the bearing faded, and I was on this image of a girl I once knew fixed. I a breath, I said out loud, that this must be the girl I married. Hear from me, that was a shocker, and soon began talking non-stop-online and on the phone. The rest was a whirl wind trying my ducks in a row to move anywhere, that was this woman in the world. But the rest was pretty complicated and an amazing opportunity of luck I end up always on the city, which they in was booked. We moved and decided to begin a family.

Her excitement was impressive when they, that she was pregnant, as she would have never thought, it was possible to find someone that a child with would want it, after I moved so long ago. Hesitated for me as a pessimist, I tell someone, "" happens something. We rented a heart monitor and heard every day at the growing in their lives. 17 Weeks, just a few days after, we each said, that we could no longer find the heartbeat. Prayer is, just us was we went to the doctor. I consider myself a very intelligent person, and if the doctor could not find it either I looked at his face and knew exactly what he thought. He sent us for a portable, I continued the love of my life hand, she saw in me, I was looking at the monitor and I could see only as the day of the ultrasound my little baby lying flaccid and not move. The tech could hardly speak and told us she would the doctor and wait. It was a painful moment eyes look in my wife and gave her the look that things not in order were. I would like the situation as quickly as possible to the rules, so we can begin to heal, but this is not the case in these situations, as a man. Option 1 is for the hospital to move, allowing you to "the fetal remains:" is how they call it. Option 2, D, and c. My wife wanted to not go through a possible 30 hours after delivery only to remains to pass, so that a c and d was the only option for them. Complication... can not run a c and d in 17 weeks hospitals, and only in one place equipped for such a procedure, the abortion clinic. Dec 20 lost 1000hrs we came for 4 days at the abortion clinic we get to know our baby. Like my wife made it 4 days, which I never know is that as a man I can understand not even carrying around a dead fetus for so long, but in a way that I think it was their consolation to know that we had with us. We laughed even when monitoring of 2 and half men one makes it all seem so weird. In the clinic, it was full of people, the choice to end there pregnancy. We are both pro-choice people but if you want a child and not and you see others who can and not the hard not to get upset. I will spare you the details on the procedure, but I want it on my worst enemy, it will take you in a way that I kept humble never. I never thought it possible that I could be as much as an adult adults wines. It was a girl.

Ok... OK, so your questions, how to get the devastating loss of such. Now, there are some techniques that I found very use:

First... Do not try, refer

As a man and know nothing about what it is like a life within you to wear, never try to relate. Just accept that they are better than men and have a lot of unknown chemicals, the floating in their body, we can express.

Second....See your sound and text.

Choose your emotions to show your time wisely. They are the target of her anger, she has no other outlet. If they lose her temper, she has an excuse on the street want to blame it on the hormones... do not. So, you must realize that it belong always consequences for your actions and this harsh words. Never blame them anyway, even if you, as I said to feel the heat of a fight.

Third parties... Humble themselves even to the situation.

You can be an expert, or at least think you in your current job but you are in this world along for the ride. You accept that everyone around you better known of, and you take all advice you can.

Forth... Keep busy.

For this, I mean the male. You work hard, by you all domestic work as quickly and efficiently as possible. This means, blades, grass mowing. This will relieve stress for you and will not cause seems to be a conflict with your emotional wife like nothing, what you are doing in nature being selfish. Trust me, that this is seen later in life.

Fifth... Protect them not or that around you.

Emphasize that all the work you questions will, if you have not had the baby. Talk to each other, what in unpleasant situations to say. Someone asks it if it is due, if she always still great looks, but that's all about you so just say it. In a nice way of course. Say a couple of important people in the family and at work, which can forward your situation. It runs in the neighbours, the questions, a year later as the baby this only does expect that them and tell them. I say it just the same thing, "O Yes...." "We actually lost the baby 17 weeks but are now much better make"

You will be uncomfortable, so you should it, that at the end of "you are okay" so that you make bad feeling, not them to demand.

And then

3 Months later we are pregnant again...