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Toilet Training
There are two questions that all first time parents need to ask when it comes to toilet training.........WHEN? and HOW?
I've assisted countless children with their toilet training and no two experiences have been the same but I can answer the WHEN and HOW questions and we can make this momentous step in your child's life a quick and easy transition.
WHEN?
There is no ideal age to begin, children are all individual and will be ready for toilet training in their own time, typically somewhere between 26 and 36 months.
It's up to you to look out for signs of readiness...
Is your child uncomfortable in their soiled diaper?
Does she tell you when she has soiled or is about to soil her diaper?
Try leaving his diaper off for short periods in the home, does he tell you when he wants to relieve himself, or does he just go to the toilet without realizing it?
Is your child still drinking a lot of bottles during the day and at bedtime, this will have a bearing on her ability to control herself?
Is your child capable of pulling up and down his own trousers or pants?
Don't try to toilet train your child if he is sick, just getting over sickness or experiencing a lot of change in his life, like a new baby in the family, moving house, or if he has a change in his childcare. Wait until circumstances are more regular for your child.
Once you have decided your child is ready, and circumstances prevail, then ask yourself are you ready? It takes a lot of patience and means putting your life on hold for a while. You will need to have a few days that you don't plan to go anywhere, in order to give your child a good start.
For the first few days you must stay in your own home, to initially get them used to just being in pants. You cannot put them back in a diaper in order to bring them out, it confuses your child and will prolong the training period.
How?
When your child gets up in the morning put pants on her immediately, regardless of where you're going or what you are doing. Putting them in pants one day and diapers the next is very confusing for your child and will set them back.
If your child is having a nap during the day it is advisable to put them in a diaper for sleep time, but as soon as they wake up remove the diaper and put pants on. The same goes for bedtime. After a period of a month to six weeks the sleep time diapers should no longer be needed, but this may take longer for some children.
Children should be wearing loose and easily manageable clothing, elastic waists are easiest for them. Do not put your child in jeans with buttons or belts, or tights. Spring or summer is a good time to train children as they wear less clothing.
Expect accidents regularly, when starting off, but if the accidents don't decrease after the first week, then your child may not be ready. If she cannot control the urge to go to the toilet then you are fighting a losing battle. Put it off for a couple of months. Don't worry she will train in her own time.
NEVER EVER criticize your child for wetting or soiling herself. She did not do it on purpose. Criticism will knock a child's self-confidence and frighten them and will undoubtedly lead to more accidents.
Ignore the accidents, don't discuss them with him, only speak about the times when he did use the toilet and remained dry.
ALWAYS praise, encourage and reward.
Do not listen to stories of children being trained over night before they reached their first birthday, I've yet to meet that child...........
Toilet training has no bearing on a child's intelligence, or on your ability as a parent.
If you follow my advice you can expect your child to be fully trained during the day within two to four weeks, and at night within one to two months.
Bed Wetting
Lots of children bed wet and for many different reasons. Sometimes it happens when they are first being toilet trained. This is quite natural and there are a couple of things that you can do to eliminate this form of bed wetting in a short space of time.
Firstly give your child less drinks before bedtime. While it's very important that your child receives enough fluids during the day to avoid becoming dehydrated, you can give more drinks earlier in the day to compensate giving less when it is coming towards bedtime.
Make sure that he uses the toilet just before falling asleep, this is part of a good bedtime routine. When you are on your way to bed, lift him from his sleep and put him on the toilet, I know this sounds scary, and your biggest fear is that he won't return to sleep, but if you do this quietly and gently, with minimum fuss, low lighting and without conversing with him, he will barely wake up and will return to restful sleep.
Ignore the bed wetting! Don't speak about it to your child, don't draw her attention to it, if she mentions it to you, gently assure her that it's okay, it's not a problem and change the subject quickly.
NEVER, EVER criticize your child for bedwetting, this will lead to low self-esteem and inevitably more bedwetting.
Praise and reward dry nights.
However sometimes bed wetting occurs with older children. There are many reasons why older children bed wet. This behavior is not strange or unusual, it is quite common and in most cases it is temporary.
If you have any concerns about why your child is bed wetting, consult with your GP. Sometimes it is a medical condition, while sometimes it's a physiological one.
Older children are very aware when they wet the bed and sometimes the embarrassment and fear can lead to more bed wetting. If it is nothing more than a lapse in control, the following method called 'mental coaching' can be very effective.
When tucking your child into bed start talking about tomorrow
"In the morning when you wake up in your dry bed call me and I'll come get you. We are going to have a lovely day tomorrow. After you get up from your dry bed we'll have breakfast and you can choose whatever you want to eat. Then you can change out of your dry pajamas and you can choose anything that you want to wear. After that we will straighten your dry quilt and tidy your dry sheets and you can choose what game we will play...
Your child will interrupt you and tell you want they want to eat, wear etc, let them.
Don't mention wet bed at all, or using the toilet.
You will have to follow through on the promises for this method to work, if your child chooses to wear a princess dress, or to eat pizza for breakfast you must go along with it. As it starts to work you can lessen the choices by saying 'you can choose any cereal you want for breakfast, or you can wear which ever top you want with your jeans......'
Repeat this every night, it may take some time, persevere, until your child has had at least two weeks of dry nights.
Trust your judgment and what your instincts are telling you, if you feel there is more to the bed wetting than the normal lapse then don't waste any time, consult a medic.
