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Your baby is unique, and will naturally develop all the skills she requires, at her own pace. I don't believe in potty 'training,' and my own children gained control over their bowels at different ages, and do you know what? Neither my wife or I were particularly worried. There is only one way to go about the subject of bowel and bladder control, and that is to let your child decide when she is ready, and not try to rush her decision. With our three children, we have never used a potty, but we got a toilet seat reducer so that they could sit on the 'big' toilet like mum and dad. Here are some thoughts on the whole process of bowel control.
It is impossible to train a child unless her body has developed to the point where she can physically and mentally be able to perform the task. If you look at toilet training, this means that it is not possible for your child to control bowel movement unless the bowel muscles are strong enough to hold urine and faeces, and that at some given time an order is given from the brain, and the body can respond to that order. If this level of sophistication has not been reached, any training programme you have for potty training will fail. So at what age will this happen? There is no normal age and some children will achieve this extremely early, and some extremely late; but for the majority of toddlers it is somewhere in between. The best approach for you as a parent, is not to worry about it and to pass your fears onto your child.
If you insist on a toilet programme before your child is ready, then be prepared for tears and sadness, and your relationship with your child may suffer as you will be seen as a source of unhappiness. This very natural process will become a battleground which you can never win. Stay calm, chill out and just enjoy this stage of her development because believe me, you absolutely cannot make your baby pass a stool to order or keep her nappy dry if it is just not the right time, and please, do not shout if accidents occur, because this is an inevitability.
Being a parent is a fantastic job, but unfortunately there is no qualification you can take to become better. Use your common sense, don't get worried that your best friend's baby is now dry at night and using and flushing the toilet and your little boy is still in Pull-Ups. Don't worry, he will be an adult and will have flown the nest soon enough; just enjoy your precious little gift, because he or she is as unique as you are.
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